Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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