she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she told me i tasted like america
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
