I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
