Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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