Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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