he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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