Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
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