I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Randomize
