I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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