so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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