i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
As shirtless as possible
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize