yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
