Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize