I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
