well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
