I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
