Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
