I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
