I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Pooping to opera.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
