I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
