Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize