Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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