i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
