I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
