just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
