Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
