im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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