OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
