She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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