I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
