Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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