your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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