Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
