I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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