im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I am one with the molecules
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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