And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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