Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
