So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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