You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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