whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
