everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
