ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
