Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
