Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
