I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
