he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
