How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
