how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
