I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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