I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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