I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
That accounts for only three of the penises
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize