Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize