they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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