i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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