We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
